Desire

What I want is constantly changing. That can't be normal, can it? I have come to the conclusion that it's not that I never really know what I want, it's that it changes before I can get too excited about it (or actually start pursuing it).
I don't know if you knew this, but I used to want to have four kids. I wanted to have two of my own and then adopt two, a boy and girl from each method. But last night that really changed. I was lying in bed and I don't know what made me think about this, but all of a sudden I was imagining being married to the very handsome man of my dreams and having one little girl. I really do want my little girl, I think I'll love her more than other other kids I could have. I know that sounds so bad. But in this thought it was my husband, my little blonde girl, and I and we were so happy. That's what I want now. Just because of that one thought my entire familial desires changed radically.
I get that I'm wishey-washey sometimes. I understand that I bring things up that are never going to happen. But sometimes the things I bring up are important to me. They are things I really want to happen.
I have a life plan of sorts at the moment. I am going to work all this year until a couple of weeks before I leave for Australia next year. I'll go to Australia for a year, and I will live it up. I'll work whatever kind of jobs I want to work there and I'll party like a rockstar. Then I'm going to come back home. I'll give myself two weeks to settle back in and get all my reacquainting done. Then I'm going to get a serious job and I'm going to go to college for Event Planning and Business Management. Upon getting my degrees I am going to (party like a rockstar again for a night or two) start working for an Event Planning firm. After a year or two there I will be ready to apply for my own business loan and start up my own event planning/event furnishing rentals company. Hopefully by that time I will at least have met the man I am going to marry and spend the rest of my life with. I want my little girl at about thirty.
It's kind of a rough plan, but it's my plan. There's a lot of room for changes in there, which is completely true to myself. But I have definitely decided on event planning. It just feels like my calling, and I keep coming back to it.