I know it's been a long time since I've blogged. Frankly I've got no apologies and I don't need or want to make amends.
Life's been happening. It's totally not what I expected or wanted in some cases. I forget to take the time to be thankful for everything I do have a lot of the time because I get so wrapped up in worrying about what I don't have.
Right now I really should be asleep. I have to get up for work in less than 3 hours. I'm awake cause I'm really sad. We had to put my dog down to sleep a few months ago. It was on 11/15/2011 to be exact. It's a day that I'm never going to forget for as long as I live. A piece of my heart is gone and I won't get it back until the day that I die and I get to see Rudy up in heaven again. Everyone says this whole mourning thing gets easier over time. It doesn't. It seems like every time that I break down over it, it feels worse inside. The sobbing lasts for longer. The pain in my chest and throat feels worse than the last time. None of this can bring him back.
I just really want him back. I want him back here with me. So I can cry about much simpler things....
Maybe it'd be easier just not to love anymore. It certainly can't hurt as much as this does.