More Often Than Naught

More often than naught... I find myself wasting time. I like to tell myself that I'm not wasting time, but inevitably I am. For instance, right now I really should be cleaning my room or sleeping (in a perfect world I'd find a way to combine the two) because I need to be awake in 3 hours to go dress shopping for my maid of honor dress for my mother's wedding that's in like 2 weekends. But here I sit blogging and online browsing for purses that I don't really need but want in an effort to make myself be more organized.
In the end, that's what most of my decisions come down to. How something fits into my life, and how I can organize everything else around it. I just wish I spent more time actualizing and less time theorizing.
I figured out how much money I am going to make by the end of the summer (before taxes) and that isn't including any overtime that I may be "awarded." It's a lot of money, especially for my job. Well.. my job most of the time. I stand for 12 hours watching bottles rush by above me on a conveyor belt type machine, and use a very large stick to unjam any that get stuck. Yes, that's my job. Honestly, they could train a monkey to do it. I may very well be a trained monkey myself, but I'm a trained monkey that's getting paid 13 dollars an hour. So I've got no reason to complain, right? Perhaps. But you tell me you don't get bored and start talking to yourself about things that are a waste of time... or staging popular song lyrics into creepy scenarios... or humming the ''Freddy's coming for you" rhyme. So basically, I'm really getting paid paid to lose my mind. See, I really am a trained monkey.
That's my job most of the time. About every two weeks it changes. I get to do some hard labor that makes me feel like puking. What exactly is that you may ask? I get "volunteer" to run rainbow line. There's 2 kinds of rainbow lines at my job. There's the kind that that's bad enough but is considered spoiling compared to the other kind, i.e. the old way and the new way. You pray that when you see your name on the schedule that you don't see it on line 7, because that means you get to do rainbow line that night. It's only 6 hours, then you get to go do something else for the rest of the shift, but it's 6 hours of hell. You pick up cases of four 6-packs of flavored water, and send each of the six packs, one by one, down "the line." There are (hopefully) 3 other people working alongside you with their own flavors. Once the case contains four different flavors of the 6-packs they are packaged and put onto a pallet. This is the new way. Where the machines do the sorting of the flavors for you. The old way is done basically without machines. Four people (there can be no less for the old way) mix up the flavors by hand then manually stick the cases into the packaging machine (the only one involved). This way requires MUCH more lifting and bending. This way is done when line 7 decides not to work. This is the way I had to run rainbow on Friday night. At least i only got to mumble incoherent ramblings to myself for 6 hours that night.
Bitter about my new job? Not really. Bitter about being ridiculously sore for my days off? You betcha!
All in all though, I don't mind my job. It's much better working up here than not working. Cause when you're not working, you aren't getting paid to go crazy.

Things with Austin are a lot better, and as per usual I feel terrible for my initial reaction to the situation. Except for the way he "planned" things was for me to find him. That I feel terrible about. I am actually having nightmares about it. So, it's a REALLY good thing that he is doing a lot better.

This is my life. I just hope and pray that not all of it is a waste.