I should be at work...

Instead I'm at home uselessly browsing the net while my mother and Mike are at the hospital with my step-brother who tried to kill himself.
Who am I to judge him... I almost did it myself what seems like ages ago now. With him though it's different. He's got no responsibilities. No reasons to be sad. He's got a father who loves him dearly and takes care of his every need. He's got a really loyal seeming group of friends. I just don't get it.
Maybe I would if I knew more about him. Don't blame me for not trying though. Getting him to talk freely is like pulling teeth. It's painful and awkward, and to be blunt, after many failed attempts at bonding I've just given up.
Now I feel bad for not feeling as bad as I should about his actions tonight, but I don't actually feel bad about his actions. He's gonna be okay, and he'll be home from the hospital in a few days.
I also feel really bad for my mother and Mike. I trully hope this doesn't put strain on their relationship. If it does, I shall always blame him. I'm in the same situation here, losing the attention of my mother. If anything, I should be more upset than he, because I had 19 years of it and he's only had it for a few. But you don't see me drinking bleach do you? Absolutely not!
I guess I should pray about this, but really it doesn't tug at my heart. I feel cold and detached from the situation. That's probably what I'll pray about instead.