Prodigal Daughter

Summer is over. The season has not officially changed yet, but the state of mind has.
The time for endless nights, unplanned adventures, and hours of blissful lethargy has come to an end.Each ending is a new beginning though... or so they say. We all are aware (by my harping upon it) that I fell off of my path. I followed a road that I had never wanted to tread upon. How do you get back on track once you've changed courses though?

Simple: you return to where you went wrong.

For me, that's church. Not the building. Not even the people.
But my relationship with the Lord. The place where I always knew he was. The relationships he placed in my life for specific reasons. It's time to turn back to God.
I've felt his nudge for a while. I tried to ignore it though. Then he started hitting me with some solid 2x4's. Still I remained stubborn. Then he sent a semi-truck to hit me (uhm, this is all metaphorically speaking of course...). It's pretty hard to overlook a giant, massive truck of truth heading right for you.
It dawned on me that the changes I desire to take place in my life weren't happening because I was being reluctant to the only one who can change them. I was still trying to do it all on my own. I don't quite understand why this lesson isn't getting through my thick skull. Rather than telling God how big all my problems are, why am I not telling my problems how big My God is?
So, I am praying. A lot. And attending church frequently.
The best part though is my warm welcome back. That shine that I used to have, one I have been so worried will never return, was my fire. It was God in me. I am so thankful that God is love. That he gives far more grace and mercy than I could even merely ponder deserving. That he has taken me back into his arms... and that he has kept open the hearts of those who I had let down. But I am also really thankful that he is giving me a chance to shine again.