Well one of the things on my list was to kill Maggie. This means lose weight, not an actual murder. I've mentioned before that it doesn't involve actually killing anything before, but I just want to make one hundred percent clear that I am not homicidal.
Here's a outline of my weight story. I've never been the skinniest kid on the block, but there once was a time when I wasn't a fatty. There was a time when I looked in the mirror and was pleased with what I saw looking back at me. That is still the me that I have in my head. But since I have been back from California, and that was just before seventh grade, I have just ballooned up. The biggest I have been was when I was a sophomore in high school. I was just coming out of my depression and I constantly needed food so I wouldn't think about being sad. After that I slowly dropped about 35 pounds. I have been flirting around the same weight I am right now for about a year. It's not my every thought, and I don't hate myself or my body. I am not the most insecure girl around, but I know that I could be a lot happier if it all was gone. I feel like I would be a lot more out going and do a lot more things if I loved what I saw in the mirror.
My thing is, like I've said before, once I start to like what I see in the mirror more I back off from my weight loss efforts. I eventually gain whatever I've lost back and then I have to start all over from scratch. It's a very annoying cycle. Not to mention I really can't go to Australia fat. I want to be having a good time and not worrying about how I look in my togs or constantly adjusting things so I feel pretty. I don't want to be a dog. Plus I always feel better once I start exercising. I love endorphins. Once I'm getting high on them then I'll have even more energy, which, if you know me, is almost a scary thought but totally worth it.
So in short The great Maggie Massacre has begun. Wish me luck.
Lovies <3
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