Soul Mates

The concept of soul mates has got to be one of the most encouraging things on the planet. Knowing that there is some ONE out there that is the counterpart of your soul... wow. It's also a little bit daunting, and can be burdensome upon relationships if you start constantly wondering ''is he/she the ONE.'' So, like many other things in this wonderful, crazy, beautiful thing called life, I am not quite sure where I stand on the matter. My inner heart wants to believe so fully in it, but there's a place in my head that says it is completely irrational, illogical and insane for me to believe in the odds of that happening. Now these are three adjectives that have all been used to describe me at some point or another in my life. Ahhhh but I'm digressing, as I often do.
A while back I was reading an article [Side note, I've come to find that I'm that person who is always reading some article or another about some completely random, and useless fact. Further, some times things I read usually contradict each other which is perhaps where at least part of my indecisiveness stems from.] about how it is very helpful for a person to write down exactly what they want, and what it is they think they need. There are two trains of thought behind this exercise. One is that once down on paper [or as I am getting to, one's computer screen] you can actively search for those qualities in your mate. The second reasoning is that once written, you can let go of searching for those qualities. They are no longer floating around inside your brain, so you no longer have to be hung up in looking for those qualities. I like the second deduction much better than I like the first, but I must say that I can't one hundred percent state that that is the reason I will do this. There are actually multiple reasons for this laundry list I am about to make, both of the fore stated ones, a simple desire to do it and be done with it, boredom, and curiosity all play a part. Contrary to popular belief I have never participated in such an activity, and I am slightly excited to see what comes of this once I am done. So without further adieu I bring you my counterpart's quality list [not in list form though because that would disrupt my train of thought entirely too much].
Well first off, I think it need go without mentioning but I shall say it anyways, I am looking for a male. Physical characteristics have always differed for me, I've liked a little bit of everything at one time or another in my life. In fact if you were to look at the list of my past interests you would find that not one of them was alike. I've tried and tried myself to think of one thing that they all had going for them, but it just is not there. There is not continuum of traits or characteristics. But what I think I am looking for is this... I really want Prince Alternative. Lately I have this obsession with ink, only this time it's an obsession that is not going away. I love guys who have tattoos, I find them beautiful and fascinating, the guys and the tats. I really do like piercings too. Not gages that you can fit a nickel or anything larger through, in fact I find those very painful and grotesque looking, and not tons of piercings. But I could really go nuts over a man with a labret or snake bits, an eyebrow, or a small gage. These two things are kind of strange to classify, cause I am not sure whether or not to put them with physical attributes, which they obviously are, or if they should be filed under characteristics, as in the type of guy who WOULD have them. I think they really fit both, so I guess I just killed two birds with one stone. Continuing on the physical route, I like them to be taller than me. Whenever I think of my wedding day [standing at the altar with my groom] I always envision someone who is just a few inches taller than me. I stand right where the top of my head is level with his eyes. As we know from my previous blogs about my wedding, I will either be barefoot or wearing flats, so I know heels do not play a part in that vision. [Gosh, by the way I thought I would feel you in on the fact that my dog is currently sleeping in a suit case. It's ridiculously cute. This has nothing to do with my current blog, I just thought I would let you know.] This man of mine is also kind of muscular. His shirts fit him a little tighter, and he has very great firm arms that give incomparable hugs. His pants also fit him a little tighter, because he has a nice butt. Not necessarily a big butt, but definitely a noticeable one. Yes I went there, get over it. He kind of has a thicker neck, but one that is in proportion to his frame. He has a soft square shaped face. He has fuller lips, very red fuller lips. Back to his neck for a second, he has a very protruding Adam's apple. I'm not quite sure what it is, but I have always found that to be an extremely attractive trait. Now to his nose. I think that nose shapes are often over looked. But a nose can really make or brake a face. I'd like him to have a concave nose, one that looks a little bit like this one. [Another side note, Robert Pattinson pretty much has the perfect everything. I've fallen ''unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him'' after reading his spread in the December 2009 issue of Vanity Fair. I think I'm changing my celebrity exception from Gabriel Macht to Robert.] I am keen of deeper set eyes. I am torn between green eyes, drak brown eyes, and light hazel/golden eyes. Mysterious, brooding eyes, eyes that have a whole other world in their depths, eyes that tell a story and are expressive but always maintain a brooding quality. That is the kind of eyes that I dream about, literally dream not dream/aspire about. Hair color. Well I've liked it all, as I said, but I see him with kind of light to medium brown hair. Very messy, the kind that you just ache to run your fingers through and mess it up even more. Longer hair for sure, but not as long as my best friends seem to think I hanker for. I actually really don't like ''Jesus'' hair, meaning anything longer than the ears is kind of a no go for me. Again Rob Pattinson's hair is kind of the epitome of what I desire, and again what I dream of. Scruff is another definite point of attraction for me. I'm not sure what to characterize scruff as because, again, it is something physical but perhaps it speaks more to the type of guy who allows himself to have scruff. A key note about the scruff though is that it must be some what groomed and never stubbly. I want to be able to see his face underneath it, but having it there is something that I don't even have words to describe how much I like. He doesn't need to have killer abs or anything like that, but I'm not really feeling him rocking the beer gut either. One last, highly important physical attribute he must have is a dazzling smile. The teeth don't need to be perfect, but really white is definitely right. [I feel I must apologize for that cheesy rhyme.] I think sharper canines are also attractive, yes like a vampire, but I have them too so whatever. His dazzling smile should be a little crooked, pulling his face up slightly on one side with a dimple only on the side pulled up. This smile should evoke feelings of slight wooziness [on my part] and mischievousness.
I started with all the physical attributes, because they are easier to quantify, and easier to describe. His character is something that is much harder to put down in words, because he is such a deep individual. He is simple by no means. I think first I should say that he would have a love of God that rival's King David's. But he would be so humble about it. Not on his ''high horse'' by any stretch of imagination. He would be able to relate to anyone, people would always seek him for his counsel on things. He would be very down to earth and very laid back, but be extremely passionate about things. He would be incredibly intellectual, he would know a ton of things about everything. But again, he would not be ''big-headed.'' He would be so laudable, but he would never, ever think it of himself. He would be absolutely wild when we are outside having adventures. He's a hiker and he loves nothing more than being high up and away from everything and being able to admire the beauty of the world from places that feel forgotten and untouched by civilization. He's a huge adrenaline junkie. You name and he'll do it. We are talking cliff diving, skydiving, bungee jumping, repelling, throwing on a birdman suit an jumping off of a mountain, surfing, scuba diving, just about anything for a thrill. He loves to live in the moment, and God is the only thing he loves more than living in the moment with me. He's definitely some sort of artist, or has an artist's spirit. He is always inspiring those around him to look at things in ways that never occurred to them before, especially me. ''He is never without a book in his hand, a piece of music on his mind, or a movie he wants to share.'' That was quite possibly my favorite quote in the Robert Pattinson interview in VF. Because it appertained so much to this idea that I have of my future husband. Of the kind of lifestyle we will have, and also it really struck a note inside of me. It spoke to who I was as well. My future husband will have natural musical talents. He'll have a deep voice and will love just strumming on his guitar making up little songs. We'll have bonfires on the beach with our friends and he'll utilize those talents just to entertain all of us. He won't be against throwing a few back from time to time, but when he does it is at that little dive/hole in the wall place that is kinda of wonderful with all it's quirks and sterotypical patrons. He'll use random obscure quotes from things, but things that we both know because if I don't know about it he'll teach me. I honestly can't say what his profession will be. I've as of late had this instinct that I'm going to marry a youth pastor, and that would be so prefectly awesome with me. I've also in the past had the feeling that he is going to definitely be some sort of artist, whether that be a musician or some sort or visual artist or even an actor. I don't know, and that is probably the least important thing on my list. I know some who will say that it's unrealistic of me to not fully care about [I say not fully care because I do care to a certain extent. To the extent that one day we will have a family to take care of, and we will both need to be able to that, it should not be on one or the other, and if this current economic situation continues it really can't be just one supporting the family it has to be both.] the financial aspects, but for right now it just isn't on my list of priorities. I want to be able to live a happy life that isn't dependent upon what mine or his income is, and honestly, I think that is extremely possible.
Well I think that is about it. It really feels good to get that out there, out in the open, out of my chest, off of my heart. I've been doing this thing lately that once I get something off of my chest, I just let it go. Because once I've expressed it, it really is no longer up to me whether or not it's what I get. I know God is going to take care of me, and if something I want is not what he wants then I learn to move on because what he will give me will be infinitely better than anything I can think up. I honestly with all of my heart mind and soul have come to believe that. So don't worry about me ever being disappointed in life, because what I get may not be what I want, but it will always be what I need. Thanks for reading, I know this was a bit verbose. But I encourage you to get your laundry list done too, it really is quite an inspiriting and invigorating thing to do. But then again this is coming from a girl who is irrational, illogical, and insane....